Lipstick it!

Sen. Obama! Too soon, man! Too soon! Sarah Palin called ‘dibs’ on the word “lipstick” when she disparaged hockey moms everywhere by comparing them to pit bulls, but she did so nonetheless. For all we know she’s in contact with a former-”Mr. Ron Mexico” and federal prisoner Michael Vick in an effort to create a broad underground network of hockey mom fighting rings. But she said “lipstick” and so to use that word in a different phrase that has nothing to do the joke Palin delivered so deftly in St. Paul is outrageous!

The laughter is too fresh, Sen. Obama! My sides are still split open from the hilarity and, point of fact, I need to change the dressings that are soaked through with giggle. We Americans like our folksy sayings even though they’re older than dirt, and to hear them on the national stage by souls like Sarah Palin makes them all the more precious.

Had you used the phrase “a bit like putting earrings on a pig” you could have avoided this conflict. But you had the audacity of hope to compare Palin to a pig, according to the McCain camp, when she is so clearly an American bitch (to use her own words).

Please, Sen. Obama, show a little sensitivity to the sanctity of the “dibs” call on “lipstick” that the McCain campaign showed you with “change.”